Sunshine and The Bandit!

I don’t know what is happening this year but doesn't to seem like every decently good QB has had some sort of major injury that has sidelined them for a year! I’m getting really tired of watching backups play this year… besides you Gardner Minshew you are a delight and a half to watch with your 1970’s Burt Reynolds in “Smokey and The Bandit” mustache and long hair. He must rip out of Lucus Oil Stadium after a win, with a big smile on his face, hop in a 1976 black Trans Am (not using the doors of course), blaring “East Bound and down, loaded up and truckin” through those rustic speakers for everyone in Indianapolis to hear. Somehow that mustached magician has led the Colts to a 7-5 record only one game back from C.J. Bethard and the Jaguars from Jacksonville in the AFC South.

Last night we unfortunately lost another movie character QB, Sunshine from “Remember the Titans” Sprained his ankle on last nights loss to the Burrow-less Bengals. Not for the season thankfully but just for a couple of weeks. Pour Trevor Lawerence in his first year he had the unfortunate pleasure of dealing with that creepy man that doesn't have a clue how to coach in the NFL, who also owns a bar somewhere near Columbus, Ohio and is somehow on my Fox college football pregame coverage along with 20 other people, man does that desk look way to crowded. And now he suffered a sprained ankle that could ruin what looked like a promising season for The Jaguars. It was sad, truly sad to see those luscious blonde locks that should be on the cover of “Vogue” magazine being helped off the field by a couple guys that looked 5’3”, whoever those guys were, they should just be Trevor’s crutches for the next few weeks as he recovers from his sprained ankle. Or here’s a crazy thought… I don't know, how about we get him some sort of vehicle he could ride on, instead of making him miserably limp down the tunnel back to the locker room! I just had the best idea ever, call up Gardner I’m sure he has room in his Trans Am to give Trevor a ride home. Hell Trevor could be the Sally Fields to Gardner’s Burt Reynolds, he has the hair for it… They could even make a new sequel out of those two together “Sunshine and the Bandit” it’s a working title…

It's sad to say but Trevor isn’t the only major QB to get hurt this year. We started off the Monday Night Football season with The Jets newly acquired QB Aaron Rodgers blowing out his Achillies on the first play of the game. Who says he might make it back by the end of the year, what kind of “Game Of Thorns” potion is he using over there? Aaron’s injury was closely followed by The Colts rookie sensation Anothny Richardson injuring his shoulder and needing season ending surgery to repair it. He reminds me way too much of Andrew Luck, you don’t have to fight like Brad Pitt in “Fight Club” for every single yard, save your body for the next play. Next on this list if you want to call him a major QB or not (I’m not) is Daniel Jones (Danny Dimes) he tore his ACL week 9 which all but ended the Giants Season that never began, he was not good this year but none the less he tore his ACL and you have to feel bad for the guy. Then there was Kirk Cousins, (Kirko Chains) yes Vikings fan who don’t want to hear it, Kirk is a major QB in this league and this injury was just the worst. I don’t care if you like the guy or not, you had to feel bad when his Achillies ruptured as the Vikings were making a nice little comeback to the season. I think we all fell a little bit in love with Kirk over the past couple of years from the amazing run that he led the Vikings on a year ago to the Netflix documentary where we learned a lot about a guy that was famously quite about his personal life. It was sad to see such a brutal injury happen to such a good guy. Then there is Deshaun Watson who is the exact opposite of Kirk Cousins, not a good guy. I don’t think anyone felt bad when we saw Deshaun Watson go down with a Fractured Shoulder. But if you can say one positive thing about Deshuan, off the field issues aside, is that he is one tough motha, he finished a game with a fractured shoulder credit where credit is due that is tough especially when my shoulder struggles just trying to flip my eggs in the morning. Then we finish off our journey through the 2023 NFL QB injuries with Joe Burrow and the hidden wrist injury that drove Vegas and the bettors of the world mad. As a starting QB, not to mention one of the more famous, walks into the stadium supposedly with no injury and show up with a brace over your throwing wrist and not expect people to notice. That was not a good look for Joe and the Bengals organization as a whole that being said one of the great young QB’s is out for the year and now we are stuck watching Jake Browning, who I’m not going to lie was slinging it all over the field last night vs the Jaguars.

I feel like the NFL needs a guardian angel just to watch over the NFL QB’s to ensure that we are not stuck watching Zach Wilson complete five-yard passes on what seems to be 8 prime time games this year. Maybe we should get Gerard Butler to be that angel. I’m not talking about jacked out of his mind “300” Gerard Butler who was slicing off people’s Achillies left and right. Oh shoot… did I miss read Imdb, were they talking about Achilles the Greek hero not Achillies the ligament… Boy I’m dumb… None the less, I’m talking about like “Olympus Has Fallen” Gerard Butler, not to jacked, sneaky tactical, but he found a way to keep the President safe from a whole slew of disasters. That’s the kind of protector we need. By the way, they made 3 of those “Has Fallen” movies? Don’t hate that. In the end I don’t know what the NFL can do to fix this problem, it’s always going to be there, injuries are just a part of the game no matter how safe the league tries and makes it for the Quarterback’s. But hopefully every team has a QB with a great mustached man to come in and help carry the load to the destination just like Bandit did all those years ago.

Comeback Kid... Rudy

By: Eric Krueger

Now some may hate this man or think he’s overrated getting traded to the frozen tundra of Minneapolis at Target Center but I will tell you, this dude can ball! And no I’m not talking about Notre Dame football in a classic 1993 movie, it’s none other than Rudy Gobert the Frenchmen. Another dominate performance tonight against San Antonio and the Alien himself Victor Wimbanyama. Rudy grabbed 21 rebounds, let me repeat 21 god blessed rebounds and ended with a plus/minus of +29 when the team only won by 8. National media hates this dude and I don’t quite get why. He is everyone’s favorite punching bag because we all know a middle school bully with zero brain power that picks on the little nerdy kid which is the equivalent of mainstream media and half brains on social media. Look at some basic stats this year and my god you will better understand why Rudy is a huge reason why the wolves are winning games. And man do I love Anthony Edwards as the second coming of Michael Jordan which I admit certainly helps but still this man Rudy in the paint brings the pain. Even in a new age nba where every six year old kid learns to shoot the new 4 point shot playing 2K in VR we cannot forget about the simple basis idea of basketball that size and length wins games consistently. 

Sure he’s a little awkward and for the love of god last time I watched him in person he went 2 for 11 at the charity stripe which is abysmal to say the least. That night I almost ran onto the Target Center floor where I once competed in the MN Catholic Knights of Columbus free throw state championships as a young Catholic lad and jumped up from my section 116 seats and stole the ball from Rudy to shoot the shots myself. But even with that he’s the top defensive big man and the wolves are riding the hottest win streak in franchise history at now 16-4. I’m been a wolves fan my entire life but this journey is one hell of a great ride! 

Udder Disaster!

What a disaster, what a mess and I’m not talking about Ridley Scott’s new Napoleon movie which was an utter disaster. Hey Apple, how do you hire a British director to tell the story of a French leader…? As you can tell I’m very angry that I went to go see that movie in a crowded theater with people coughing on me left and right during it's opening week. Just an utter disaster. By the way cows have udders and things can be an utter disaster… Sometimes the English language really blows my mind… not in a good way. No wonder we are all confused as a society. Speaking of confused what is the college football playoff committee going to do about this year’s playoff. This is the first year that I can remember that there are 8 legit teams that deserve to make the playoffs. Michigan, Washington, Texas, Florida State, Alabama, Georgia, Ohio State and yes even you two loss Oregon hiding up there in the northwest corner of the country with your 45-year-old starting QB Bo Nix, blending into the surroundings with your Mallard duck-colored uniforms. Do ducks have udders? You may not make the playoffs this year, but you still have the best mascot in the game, well second that stoned Stanford tree is pretty great. The CFP Committee has one tough decision on their hands, but do they?

Florida State went undefeated in a power five conference knocking off some of the stiffest competition the ACC has to offer… let’s be honest there wasn’t much this year.. Miami and Clemson aren’t what they used to be so that doesn’t help their case for a tough schedule this year. So, what do you do with a team that did everything it was supposed to do to make it to the playoffs? It’s a great question. If I were to guess, just like in 2017 with the UCF Knights getting snubbed, though they won their conference as an undefeated team, Florida State and their back up QB won’t get in. I have a strange feeling that those pesky “underdogs” down in Tuscaloosa, Alabama will get in and there will be upheaval once again in the college football world. Just like those glorious BCS days. Do Elephants have udders?   

In the end the CFP Committee decided to leave undefeated Florida State out of the playoffs to make room for seven-time champion Nick Saban and his underdog Alabama Crimson Tide who did beat the back-to-back national champion Georgia Bull Dogs in SEC Championship game. Do bulldogs have udders? You and I both know the CFP needs to have an SEC champion in it so, Is Alabama deserving? Who knows. The CFP committee thought so or is that just them getting pressured from everyone to not leave out the SEC champion. Alabama got old fashion cattle drive trampled at home by the Texas Longhorns and if it wasn’t for a miracle, Russell Wilson-esque moon ball thrown by Jalen Milroe's right arm to the corner of the endzone in the final seconds of the game to beat an awful Auburn Tigers team, Alabama wouldn’t even have been in the conversation for the CFP. Do Tigers have udders? Now, I know Longhorns have udders, right? It’s amazing in 2023 that we can’t figure out a way to get this right for everyone, but that’s sports in general someone is going to be left out no matter what they do… isn’t that a great lesson for life as well. Do I think they got it right? Yes 100%! Florida State is not the same offensive team without their starting QB I think that’s fairly obvious to see. Does that mean they would have just been leveled by Michigan like the asteroid that hit earth and took out Leo at the end of Only Up? Spoiler alert… We will never know but I’ll tell you what if Georgia blows them out in the Orange Bowl, I think we would have our answer.

Now the question is when they do eventually move to a 12-team playoff are we going to have the same problem just with worse teams at smaller schools? They truly can’t get this right no matter what they do. Instead of fighting over who deserves to make the playoffs more with giant college football powers like Alabama, Florida State and Georgia we will be arguing over SMU, Liberty and whatever a Tulane is. It’s going to be the same problem. Except we won't be dealing with calm, rational Florida State fans we will be dealing with small town Texas Fans and who knows what that could lead to... wait SMU is located in Dallas, wasn't expecting that... All I know is that come January we will forget about who was left out and we will focus on who is in and in the end the committee might just get lucky because boy are those some Juicy match ups. Michigan Wolverines (udder less) vs Alabama Crimson Tide (udder less) playing at in the famous words of broadcasting legend Keith Jackson "the grand daddy of them all", The Rose Bowl. With the other matchup between, Washington Huskies (udder less) vs Texas Longhorns (who I think have udders) happening down near the powdered sugar capital of the world, New Orleans and the All-State Sugar Bowl. By the way they should change the name of the sugar bowl to the powder sugar bowl to honor those fantastic, New Orleans staples, "beignets" from Cafe Du Monde.

It’s going to be a great playoff full of great stories, but they may have left the best story of all at home. Could you imagine if Florida State and their back up QB made a run like Ohio State did lead by back their back QB, Cardale Jones in 2014 it would be an amazing story. Could you also imagine if Alabama gets just mauled by the sharp claws of Hugh Jackman and that wolverine’s team from Michigan while Florida State beats the back-to-back champs in The Orange Bowl. Oh, the Florida State fans would lose their minds like Teddy Danials did on Shutter Island (or did he?) and I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to see what happens in January as this final chapter of the 4 team College Football Playoff comes to a dramatic conclusion. In the end I can see both sides of the argument, but I personally think the committee did the right thing by not putting Florida State in there because the match ups we have look great on paper and having Florida State in there with their back QB could of had the chance of truly being one udder disaster…