Dear Sean Peyton's Smug Face

Hi Sean, I’m just a lonely Broncos fan in a purple waved sea of Vikings fans rolling emotions who love to complain how bad Kirk Cousins is! I would greatly appreciate it if you could take time out of your busy schedule game planning to give up 70 points to a Dolphins team with a QB you thought should be benched last year, to explain to Vikings fans that life is not that bad with Kirk Cousins at the helm! Now I know this is probably beneath you since you have won a Super Bowl by cheating…. I didn’t mean that sorry that was out of line! I mean paying your players extra money to injury the other team is perfectly legal and you shouldn’t have been punished…. But hey at least you got an Adam Sandler movie made about your year off from the league… so you went back to coach high school football?… hmmm maybe you should of stuck to that…. 

Back to the more pressing issue the fact that your Denver Broncos team seems just a weeee bit off… I don’t want to point fingers and be rude but you did say that Nathanial Hackett did the worst coaching job you have ever seen but if I recall correctly his Denver Broncos team had a better record than your team at this point! I could be wrong about that but let me look it up…. One moment… nice weather in Miami today wasn’t it?…. You going to take the convertible out after the press conference to celebrate the great job you did today?… Just about done with my google search…. Oops miss spelled Nathanial… I forgot the I, A, L, because what grown man in their mid forties still goes by Nathanial just call yourself Nathan…. yes in fact I was correct the 2022 Nathanial Hackett lead Denver Broncos were 2-1 after week 3… and this just in his team didn’t give up 70 points in a game! 

Hmmm funny how you shouldn’t open your smug ass mouth about how bad someone else is at coaching before the season starts! Now I’m sure it’s not your fault that those players gave up 70 points on defense, your an offensive guy…. That was much better. The play calling was picture perfect especially around the goal line! Let’s not run the football let’s put the ball in the hands of your great Super Bowl winning QB Russell Wilson so he can over throw each receiver by 49 feet or 49 subway Danger Russ sandwiches! You are truly a genius…. One of the greatest…. Smug pieces of shits I’ve ever seen!

  I never thought in all my years staring at those beautiful Pantone: PMS 1655 C colored uniforms (by the way quick side note I looked up what shade of orange the Broncos wear thinking it would have a cool name like “fall meadow maple leaf burning mountain side because are planet is on fire orange” but I was wrong I got some code instead, very disappointed) Wear was I…. I never thought after all my years staring at those beautiful Pantone: PMS 1655 C colored uniforms (just rolls off the tongue) that I’d be longing for the days of Drew Lock rapping to Three 6 Mafia on the sidelines while Lord Fangs hovered over the defense like the Calise’s hovers on her dragons over the iron throne…. 

Good god do I miss you Fangs! 

Thanks again for your time and if you could get back to me with in a timely manor with a hand written letter about how things are much worse in Denver than Minnesota that would greattt! In the mean time Enjoy that Florida sunshine on your PMS 1655 C burnt face!